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                "title": "Scotland",
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                        "*": "{{Nicequote|''The whole world looks to Scotland for all our ideas of civilisation... and that's why we're in the gutter with a booze problem''|[[Oscar Wilde]] paraphrasing Voltaire during steamy Gay Sauna get together with London intelligentsia}}\n[[Image:Map,mercatorofscotalns.JPG||thumb|right|275px|A map of Scotland from the cutting edge cartography department at [[Glasgow Caledonian University|Glasgow University]].]]\n{{wikipedia}}\n'''Scotland''' is a small village in the North of [[Greenland]] that has been the envy of the world for some time; pretty much ever since [[America]] went [[Braveheart]]. The only people who dislike the Scots are the English, this is probably to do with the aforementioned, ''envy''.\n\nThe country is currently regarded as having the most violent people in [[Europe]] or in fact the [[World]]. Scotland is also regarded as a failed state by the [[UN]], with political corruption from all parties leading to endless enquiries that lead to a bunch of leaflets getting sent out about [[Scottish Independence]], this also means that for Scotland to get any benefits or not go bankrupt on unfashionable skirts, they have to be in the union of the [[United Kingdom of Britannia (and Northern Pangaea)]]. The Scots have a Parliament which was designed by Manuel from [[John Cleese|Fawlty Towers]], and is a desperate (failed) attempt to make [[Edinburgh]] look like the [[Spain|\"''Barcelona of the North''\"]]. Instead, Scotland has been cruelly compared to - as quoted by the pope - \"the saggy pulp found in between my toes.\"\n\n==Historical Political & Existential Situation==\n{{Current}}\nHistorically, Scotland bore the brunt of several Empires including the [[Swedish]], [[Roman]] and [[English]] Empires respectively trying to wipe out the backward and infamously angry inhabitants. For each empire this has turned into a [[Vietnam]] situation as Scotland more or less developed guerrilla fighting and ethical [[Nihilism]] in these dark years. Walls were even erected to keep out the [[Alien|'Blue Genital Aliens']]. \n\nMore recently in history more attempts were made to wipe out these surprisingly resourceful people economically, [[Margaret Thatcher|Marge Twatcher]] used Poll Taxes and stipends to try and starve off this 'wart on top of [[England]]' as she put it, but this failed as well.\n \nCurrently further issues have ensued with [[Alex Salmond|Salmond]] the Hutt being elected as First Minister (Not 'Prime Minister' as this would sound too English), his Manifesto threatens [[England]] with its main policy of \u201cPissing off [[Wankers|Westminster]]\u201d. The political policy has the newly elected Scottish National Party ([[The Scottish Nazi Party|SNP]]) ignoring the largely underdeveloped north which is now more populated by English than Scots; this is coupled with the desperate urban decay of the larger cities of [[Glasgow]] and [[Edinburgh]] and time will tell if these cities can be brought back from dissolution as well as the rest of Scotland.\n\nSalmond the Hutt has declared that when he has \u2018liberated\u2019 Scotland he will sell it to [[Norway]] at a knockdown price, and he hopes that the Norwegians will be able to turn around the failed state. Further developments have been made to upgrade the [[Culture]] selling as much as possible out to [[America]] renewing and interest in this Country and one can tell little difference between stereotypes if you\u2019re rich, however the underlying poverty and closet sheep buggery tell of a place far more backward than Eastern Europe.\n\nAs of May 2010 VNC (''Very Normal Chap'') [[UnCameron|David Cameron]] won control of Britain in a game of tiddly winks with Brown and became Prime Minister. This greatly upset the Scots as only one man in the south of the country voted for him, and that was for a drunken bet. Fearing the loss of the herrings he liked for breakfast Cameron quickly appointed Nick Clegg as his Deputy - Scotland liked Nick because he had a Ginger friend and wasn't a Tory. In exchange for not burning [[England]] to the ground the Ginger (Danny Alexander MP) was given a position in the cabinet, next to the [[whisky]].\n\n==Economy==\n[[Image:Scotland_from_space.JPG|thumb|right|220px|Scotland's head-and-shoulders shot from its entry on the Adult Friend Finder website.]]\nScottish currency is loosely base on the English Pound, except that in Scotland almost every bank can print their own money and they all look different. This system was devised primarily to piss off the English and flood their country with \"monopoly money\". Unfortunately the scheme backfired and they refused to accept the cash - leading to screams of \"Its bloody legal tender!!!\" by any Scot who ventured south of the border.\n\nWhen not busy trying to leave the average Scot can be found wandering about fields and pubs searching for more treasure to add to their medieval bank vaults. \n\nScotland is famous for exporting many wares/foods that will inevitably destroy your body. Examples of these deadly fetishes are: any possible object being dipped into a deep fat fryer (Examples include Mars Bars and pizzas), [[Irn-Bru]], Scotch Eggs, [[Haggis]], [[Sheep]], and [[Rob Schneider]]. They also export Scotch Tape, Scotch whisky, butterscotch, and hopscotch. \nScotland\u2019s biggest export is Scots to: Anywhere else - even if it's colder - anywhere but here! These Scots, such as the Demi-God Sean Connery, will do anything for bonny Scotland - except live there.\n\nScotland rarely imports goods, but on the occasion that it does it can import goods/wares such as: foreign workers, Vodka, [[Tourists]], and The Royal Family ([[German]] Upstarts). On the whole, the economy is...well, *&%? In every sense of the word.\n\n==Alliances==\nScotland is not currently allied with anyone although they do go out drinking and having a good time whilst watching the football (soccer for the W/Yanks) and rugby with [[Ireland]] on occasion. Although prone to the odd bit of unwelcome sectarian chanting (and the odd chibbing), in general the peaceful folk of this quaint place leave all the real hooliganism to their bastardly neighbor England. Along with [[Wales]], the three countries were close friends during their high school years, often being given a swirly (full of [[fucking]] oil) by [[England]] during study periods; however they lost touch after graduation. They used to get on quite well with [[France]], but the relationship cooled after Scotland got drunk and suggested a threesome with [[Norway]]. This proposition was referred to by historians of the time as the Bald Alliance, because it was at this time that Norway's hair began to come out in clumps.\n\nThough officially insisting that the decision had been mutual, after the split from France, Scotland is widely thought to have let itself go. It put on weight, took up [[Protestantism]], and began importing even more [[Buckfast|alcopops]] than before, tripling what was already a world record. Scotland, the country, is not officially at war with any country, the City of [[Glasgow]] and the City of [[Edinburgh]] have been at war ever since the latter collided with the former. Huge numbers of casualties have resulted on both sides, and both cities are pale shadows of their former selves.\n\nMostly though Scotland does not really bother about alliances, we have unspeakable social problems, although we tend to side with whoever is against [[England]] or \"tha Inglish bastards\". We have strong Economic ties with [[America]] and it is hoped they will revitalize our backward [[Economy]] with their exchange students.\n\n==National Character==\n[[Image:Hdvbdjdsbvsjdbvsd.jpg|right|thumb|245px|Typical Scottish people. Later in the day, knives are also worn.]]\n{{Nicequote|''Now it's my time to shine with these people whom technically I hate and look down on, yet I so crave their approval and validation''|[[Gordon Brown]] on becoming Dictator of [[England]]}}\nTypically Scottish people are characterized by high achieving muscle-bound anti-social [[bastard]]s, the reason for their success is not only the substantial pay off from England to stave off independence but also the motivation of the Scots which is [[hate]] and resentment, this drives them not only success at home and abroad but to a deep contempt for their fellow man. The national motto of Scotland is, in [[Latin]], \"Nemo me impune lacessit\" or the Gaelic \"Cha togar m' fhearg gun d\u00ecoladh\", which translate roughly to ''\"You don't want to fuck with me\"''.\n\nAnother thing that will strike the visitor to our waterlogged land is the tendency for Scots either to be euphoric, angry or wholly disengaged from reality ([[Leonidas]]); whether this is the 'Illness of Scotland' (see Below) or the concentration of insanity in the genes leaves many scientists baffled, similarly the high achievement is also baffling since the population is mostly illiterate and has low concentration span due to the terrible diets the Scots have. \n\nThe [[English]] want ultimately to be like the Scottish, the Scots however openly display hate for the English and the further north the more prevalent it is to find that to be called English (or \"Inglish\") is an insult in itself. Even the [[Cornwall|Cornish]] try to be like the Scots, but we hate them and we'll only abide the sight of them when we want [[tin]]. \n\nFor all those puny races who want to be like the Scottish, they never live up to the peculiar mixture of terrifying anger and humour that characterize this people addicted to having [[chips]] on their shoulders and having the kind of [[misanthropy]] that usually is found amongst the [[Germans]].\n\nWe also see a worship of strange garments, derived from [[transsexuals|Trappist]] monks, that seem like deep seated traditions like Kilts (Skirts) being worn among the men folk, this fills the world with envy for some reason as they are dreadfully uncomfortable, why the [[English]] don the outfit at weddings is somewhat tacky, as they are chiefly responsible for trying to ethnically cleanse the Scots.\n\nMillions of Americans and Australians and other country's which try to be different from the English (EG: Canada) despite speaking the same language are all cheap imitations of the original Scottish independence and foreignness.\n\n==Culture and Philosophies==\n[[Image:SalmondTheHut.jpg|thumb|right|220px|The First Minister, [[Alex Salmond|Salmond]] The Hutt, examines his countrymen and future appetizers.]]\nScotland has provided [[the world]] with many great inventions over the years, including the [[television]], Feghaly and the sporran. They also claim to have changed the direction of electricity, but the rest of the world threatened to sue for the cost of reprinting the textbooks. The list of things invented by Scots grows directly in proportion to the amount of [[alcohol]] one feeds to the Scot who is reeling off the list. If they are allowed access to an ordinary supermarket wines & spirits aisle, the Scots will apparently have invented everything.\n\nOther culture and Philosophical contributions include [[Adam Smith]] who invented [[Economics]], especially the selfish [[American]] kind of Economics called [[capitalism]] and his studies have influenced people the world over, particularly the White Male to screw everybody and feel that they are benefiting the world with their own personal gains:\n\n==Musical Heritage==\nIt is widely known by everyone, especially the English, that [[Scottish]] music is considered to promote [[Racism|nationalism]]. As such, any time it is heard by a Scot it conjures memories of being raped/slaughtered by English cavalry.\n[[England]]\u2019s lack of traditional [[music]] or culture of any kind (''\"Well what abow [[Oasis]], roll out the curry rug\"'') has led to the English feeling all ''Celtic'' when they hear Highland music and leaves them wanting to be Scottish, bizarrely many foreigners also feel the [[Ned|need]] to be Scottish after hearing our '[[music]]'. \nThere are many variants of the compositions and many famous players like [[Lars Ulrich]], however the constant is that all Scottish Music has two musical instruments, which are Bagpipes and Pikeys using [[WTF|accordions]] (batteries required).\n\n==Religion==\n[[Image:Scottish_expansionism.png|thumb|right|250px|Conjectured routes for population of Europe by Scottish tramps within three weeks of the nation's establishment.             \n''(inset: worldwide four days later)'']]\n{{Main|Taggart}}\nCurrently Scotland has two religious groups that are known and originate in [[Glasgow]] - one is [[Celtic]] and one is [[Rangers]]; there is a [[Protestant]] or [[Catholic]] sense to the [[Football]].\n\n== Scottish Sporting Achievements ==\n*''Main Article: [[Scottish Sports]]''\n{{Nicequote|''And I have to close my eyes''|Morrissey|Scottish Sports}}\nAs a rule Scotland does not succeed in sporting events, as other countries don't allow the \u201chead butt\u201d or \"Hit and Run\" tactics that embody Scottish strategy on all matters.\nThere may come a day when the odd fluke is not the only victory - until that day we Scottish hang our heads in a deep shame. Most Scottish people support Celtic.\n\n== Scottish military ==\n[[Image:Funny_Pictures_1711.jpg|left|thumb|220px|Typical symptoms of [[Insanity|paranoia]] from ''Scotland'' conditions]]\n{{Nicequote|''It's simply effing fantastic that we can send those effing Weegies to kick the effing crap out of those effing ragheads!''|[[The Queen]] on the Royal Scots Guards}}\nCurrently Scotland has withdrawn its military from active duty of defending Scotland since the [[English]] have told them not to. However many of the fine psychopathic Scots ironically fight for the [[English]] like the Ghurkas in [[Nepal]] or the child soldiers in [[Africa]]. \nThe [[Tartan Army]] is the main branch of the [[Scottish]] [[army]]; ever increasing funds go to hiring recruits, usually selected at age five and trained up to high \"Scottish\" standards.\n\nIt has been announced that whilst [[Gordon Brown]] has moved [[English]] and [[Welsh|mutant forces]] into the \"Overlook\" position at their bases as he has sent the Scots to \"set aboot\" the Foreigners to continue the war of terror.\n\n==The illness of 'Scotland'==\n[[Image:OOMPPAH.JPG|right|thumb|220px| Typical Scottish women, suffering from Scotland.]]\nThe illness of Scotland is something that any visitor will begin to feel after spending any time here - conditions such as a debilitating sense of [[Isle of Despair|despair]] and a fear of the outside world or a general sense of paranoia are symptoms; you may also find [[Chips]] on your Shoulders. Skin ailments and asthma from the heavily polluted air may occur, and you may also find that you feel the need to shout at people or become a member of an obscure cult like the Wicca cult in that shite seventies documentary on [[The Wicker Man|Shetland]]. If you suffer from one or many of these symptoms it is a sign that you're suffering from Scotland; Booze is the prescription cure for the condition - ''repeat as necessary''. \n\nThe native folk drink vast quantities of [[Irn Bru]] to keep them from committing [[HowTo:Kill Yourself With A Brick|suicide]]. It is not recommended that newcomers try this as years of physical abuse defend the Scots from feeling the effects of [[Irn Bru]], [[Deep-fried Mars Bar]]s and [[Pizza]]s. Should you be a 'plus size' [[American]] I would still caution against this difficult regime of physical abuse through diet and lifestyle; should you be [[Polish]], I invite you to try it and see if the communist in you can survive it and live to tell the tale - probably not, but that's not all bad.\n\nThere is also the symptom of [[Oompah Loompah]]ism in females; a gross physical condition that affects the Scots women - orange skin and heavily died hair and a harsh masculine look. One would think that these terrible mutations are [[Chavs]]/[[Ned]]s affected by [[Irn Bru]] and awful home conditions, however they often display a great deal of intelligence and some degree of understanding of the world so rare in Scotland. This symptom of the illness of Scotland primarily affects third generation 'Pure Native' Scots and is incurable unless from a responsible [[woman]] beater (Scotsman) who can reverse this terrible symptom of Scotland.\n\n==Geology and Natural history==\n''See Also: [[Geology]]''\n[[Image:Geologyofbritain.jpg|200px|left|thumb|caption|Geology of Scotland within the British Isles before they collided with Ireland.]]\nAccording to the English and hence the British Geological Survey based down in England with a little office in [[Edinburgh]], the whole of Scotland is composed of a hard acidic, intrusive sedimentary rock called Stornoway. Everything is the same except from [[Aberdeen]] where the granite is a silvery colour, Peterhead where it's pink and [[Fort William]] where it's olive green. Geologists think that Scotland has some of the world's oldest rocks, these being the Lewisian originating from Na h-Eileanan Siar where everything is old, even the youngest people. This effectively means that everywhere in the world is made of Scotland. \nDespite this BGS propaganda, the geology of Scotland appears highly complicated due to numerous [[geologist|geologists]] going mental with their coloured pencils and making it look structurally complex. If you go to [[Fuck All|Northwest Scotland]] for example, you may find [[Gneiss]], a rock geologists named because that's what it looks like; nice. Unlike granite, the [[gneiss]] appears all stripy and no matter what geologists try and brainwash you into, they are really still granites, just stripy and multicoloured due to numerous years of primary school art projects over the years. This is because every village in this part of the world has a school, even if only two children live there.\n\nAs far as countries go, Scotland has traveled the furthest. Formerly the ''W'' of Gondwanaland, it traveled from the [[Antarctica|South Pole]], across the [[equator]], past the tropics before taking a wrong turn at the Iapetus, allowing Baltica to collide into it to form [[England]]. This therefore makes Scotland older than England and far superior. Nowadays, Scotland is beginning to drift slowly northwards. Some debate that this is due to [[Continental Drift]] whereas others are firm believers that the [[SNP]] is somehow behind this.\n\nThe islands of Scotland are much younger than the granite mainland, mainly due to a period of volcanic activity in the Tertiary. During these events when [[volcano|volcanoes]] were widespread, early settlers were forced to build islands such as Canna and Uist to escape the deadly molten [[lava]] using different rocks from around the world that weren't under lava or water. This makes for interesting geological mapping of this region. These volcanoes are now [[extinct]] from the exception of Arthur's Seat in Edinburgh and [[Ben Nevis]].\n{{factoid|Scots invented geology in 1876 with the phrase \"Oi Jock, see this granite min? Ye no think the equigranular texture o' this een is slightly different to the porphyrytic texture o' that een?}}\n===Scottish Flora and Fauna===\nScotland has many well  known types of wildlife which are below and also a variety of orange birds and [[emos]], which may also be orange; possibly one may even see the rare 40 year old [[Goth]] near extinction in Scotland:\n\n===Drug Addicts===\n''See also: [[Drugs]]''\n\nThis is by far the most prevalent animal in Scotland. They prowl endlessly, barking in the streets and are accused of draining Scotland's [[economy]].\n[[Alex Salmond]] has requested Parliament authorise a cull of these creatures, however [[Europe]] (typical) has not allowed the motion. The over-breeding of these creatures is no doubt the cause of much of the urban decay throughout Scotland.\n\n[[Image:Hans_two.jpg|right|thumb|220px|A Scottish Public Toilet]]\n[[Alcoholics]] and [[Hobos]] are also of the same Genus, however they tend to look better and are largely unable to talk or communicate with others, The Drug Addict of Scotland, on the other hand, has been to a fine Scottish [[University]] and is able to communicate between fixes and possibly during fixes, although no conclusive study has been made as the research students fled when the screaming/barking started.\n\nTheir main hideouts include toilets and generally the street where deals can proceed openly, as the [[Police]] are usually arresting 10 year olds for possession of knives and, more often than not, pump action shotguns.\n\nThe Scottish government says the casualties are acceptable as there\u2019s plenty of money going into other things like [[Haggis]] factories and [[English]] run [[Whisky]] factories; therefore no need to square up to the junkies and dealers, after all \"they keep the [[economy]] afloat\"\n\n===The Loch Ness Monster===\n:''Main Article: [[Loch Ness Monster]]''\n:''See Also: [[Lake Spooky]]''\n[[Image:Lochness_potato.jpg|thumb|right|220px|The inconclusive photographic evidence that persuaded the world.]]Common to the lochs of Scotland for many years has been the ''Nessie'' or [[Loch Ness Monster|''Loch Ness Monster'']], a shy and retiring creature that only comes into public a few times a year when the smell of [[American]] Dollars is carried on the wind from tourist resorts. The monster eats only American Dollars and Euros, although it is also pleased to accept most major credit cards. Frequent visitors to Scotland can elect to feed the monster by Direct Debit, and make savings of up to \u00a314 ([[pound]]s) a year. \n\nPrior to its flotation on the stock market, the monster was for many years mistaken for the towering mobile eye of a Martian War Machine, and caused the regular evacuation of villages — not to mention a number of unintelligible and threatening phone calls to [[Hollywood]] star Gene Barry. \n\nEventually the local council was given a briefing as to the difference between Fantasy and [[Reality]]. An ancient ''exploitate cynica capitale'' ritual followed in which the Scots pledged themselves to guard and exploit the monster for as much as it was worth, for the rest of their natural lives. It is estimated that the monster's annual contribution to the Scottish [[economy]] is equivalent to the sale of forty million tartan dollies in plastic tubes.\n\n===Haggis===\n''Main Article: [[Haggis]]''\n\nThe national foods of Scotland are the sausage and the bagpipe. Haggis is a sausage cooked in a bagpipe. Haggis is named for the animal from whence it comes; a small furred mammal called the ''Wild Haggis'', with two legs shorter than the other to allow for running in circles around the hills on which they live.  \nHaggis is rarely eaten outside Scotland because it contains a powerful cocktail of [[Drugs|neurotoxins, hallucinogens and aphrodisiacs]] that only those of Scottish descent could hope to survive.\n\n===Stalkers===\n[[File:Stalker.jpg|left|thumb|220px|Typical Stalker on Byers Road, [[Glasgow]], the 'Nice part of Town']]\nThis creature is usually found amongst \"[[The British Class System|Middle Class]]\" Scots who have reverted into strange existentially obsessed hobos, they prowl the streets trying to resurrect God and find more booze, often they are found in one of the many fine drinking establishments in Scotland reading a quality broadsheet ([[the Guardian]]) or bizarrely living on the streets as if they are beggars but are in fact from reasonably good homes.\n\nStalkers comprise a large chunk of the Scottish population and can be seen throughout Scotland with that lost dog look on their faces and a request for twenty pence.\nStalkers can often be spotted by a vigilant wildlife spotter heading for the 'Zone\u2019, also called the off license in other places or can be seen raising money to go visit the \"Zone\" selling the Big Issue.\n\nMany submit to the idea that the Stalkers are spies from outer space who need questionable illegal substances to breathe or that they are the next phase in evolution or mutations to an inferior species of humanity, or even that they are a lame stereotype from a lame seventies [[Sci Fi]] [[film]]; the future will tell what these Stalkers are on the [[Planet]] for, if anything.\n[[Image:Tfbfd.JPG|right|thumb|220px|Typical 'White Settlers']]\n\n===White Settlers===\n{{seealso|England}}\nA new and diverse type of people are coming to Scotland claiming to feel the [[Teuchter|''Celt in themselves'']] and are coming up to the Highlands to enjoy the life sapping weather and mind numbing boredom that characterise the region. I speak, of course, of the [[English]], who, having over-bred and ruined their country, seek to come up to Scotland and recreate the hell they came from. \n\nThey plant their pathetic seeds and hope something will grow and idly make light of the weather knowing they will ultimately have to return to their own ruined land or similar events of [[The Shining]] will surely occur in the wilderness that is the Highlands. The English go stir crazy up there without the mind suppressants and [[Depression|Prozac]] contained in [[Irn Bru]]. Usually, these White Settlers rent out their 'renovated' homes after six months at extortionate prices to disenfranchised locals.\n\n[[Alex Salmond]] has encouraged this as he hopes that the economy will benefit from the 'development of the region by screwing the [[English]] for their money'.\n\n==See also==\n*[[UnNews:Salmond announces an independent Scotland would have its own flag]]\n*[[UnNews:An American's guide to Scottish Independence]]\n*[[Scots]]\n*[[Gaelic]]\n*[[Things Invented By Scots]]\n*[[British-Irish relations]]\n*[[Scotland/Places in it|Places in Scotland]]\n*[[The famous grouse]]\n*[[HowTo:Be Scottish]]\n*[[SNP]]\n*[[Worst 100 Locations of All Time]]\n\n== External links ==\n* [http://www.scotland.org/ Official Website]\n\n{{Britain}}\n{{Europe}}\n{{World Countries}}\n{{FA|date=4 April 2005|revision=24927}}\n\n[[Category:Scotland| ]]\n[[Category:Pages that wisna written by a body that's mither tongue is Scots]]\n[[Category:FA Europe]]\u200f\n[[Category:FA Nations]]\u200f\n[[Category:Places that think they are countries]]\n\n[[bar:Schottland]]\n[[cs:Skotsko]]\n[[da:Skotland]]\n[[de:Schottland]]\n[[eo:Skotlando]]\n[[es:Escocia]]\n[[fi:Skotlanti]]\n[[fr:\u00c9cosse]]\n[[gl:Escocia]]\n[[he:\u05e1\u05e7\u05d5\u05d8\u05dc\u05e0\u05d3]]\n[[id:Skotlandia]]\n[[it:Scozia]]\n[[ja:\u30b9\u30b3\u30c3\u30c8\u30e9\u30f3\u30c9]]\n[[nds:Schottland]]\n[[nl:Schotland]]\n[[no:Skottland]]\n[[pl:Szkocja]]\n[[pt:Esc\u00f3cia]]\n[[sv:Scoutland]]\n[[tr:\u0130sko\u00e7ya]]\n[[zh:\u82cf\u683c\u5170]]\n[[zh-tw:\u8607\u683c\u862d]]"
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            "17902": {
                "pageid": 17902,
                "ns": 0,
                "title": "UnPoetia/Did you know",
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                        "*": "* Only 76.2% of all poets, living or dead, are gay.\n\n:<small>16.7% are bisexual, 5.4% are in denial about it, and 1.7% are asexual.  The remainder are, in fact, straight.</small>\n\n* If dark Romantic poetry were 60's and 70's American politics, Nathaniel Hawthorne would've been [[Lyndon Johnson]], Poe would've been [[JFK]], and [[Moby Dick|Herman Melville]] would've been [[Richard Nixon|Dick Nixon]].\n\n* '''Haiku''' means '''urinal cake''' in [[French]] and [[Mexican]].\n\n* Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's poem ''She Came & Went'' is about a dead baby.\n:<small>His daughter, but a dead baby none-the-less.</small>\n\n* At the age of 12, [[Charles Dickens]] used to work in a boot-blacking factory.\n:<small>Charles Dickens is the one who looks like [[Tim Burton]].</small>\n\n* A \"huckleberry finn\" is a type of berry bush native only to [[Missouri]].\n\n* Geoffrey Chaucer was born on Retrocession Day ([[Taiwan]]).\n\n* ''Don't Say Goodbye'' by Edmund Spenser is the longest haiku ever written, at a whopping total of four lines.\n\n[[Category:UnPoetia]]"
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